


Ways Freddy Says "I Love You"

by nevercomestheday



Series: Ways _____ Says "I Love You" [4]
Category: Reservoir Dogs (1992)
Genre: (it shifts back and forth), Alternative Perspective, Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, Cuddling & Snuggling, Cute, Domestic Fluff, Drinking, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Gambling, Lots of chapters, Love, M/M, Romantic Fluff, Secrets, but they're short i promise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-15
Updated: 2016-05-14
Packaged: 2018-06-08 11:48:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 43
Words: 13,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6853402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nevercomestheday/pseuds/nevercomestheday
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A list of ways Freddy tells Larry he loves him, without actually telling him he loves him... Most of the time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> READ THE LARRY ONE FIRST (http://archiveofourown.org/works/6853198/chapters/15643078)! I wrote this one second!
> 
> Characters belong to Quentin Tarantino.

**smiles and blushes when you hand him his drink**

_ Freddy is no longer nervous about his commode story. He may have walked into the bar with a little panic in the back of his throat, but after a few minutes of shooting the shit with Eddie and Joe, he’s confident he can do this. _

_ “So, uh, we waitin’ on anybody?” he asks, starting to get cocky. _

_ “Yeah, old buddy of mine.” Joe cranes his neck and smiles. “There he is now.” _

_ Freddy turns to look, expecting another crusty old man, and  _ bam!  _ The wind is knocked right out of him and the nerves from before have returned with backup. _

_ The man walking up to greet them is all smiles. He’s mid-height with broad shoulders and a deep tan, and when he meets eyes with Freddy, it’s like someone pulled the rug out from under him. _

_ “This is Mr. White,” Joe says in a low growl. “Mr. White’s an old buddy of mine. Mr. White, this is… Mr. Orange.” _

_ Code names. Of course. Oh, but what Freddy would give to know this guy’s name. _

_ “Hi there, Mr. Orange,” White laughs, and Freddy changes his mind.  _

_ He’d rather hear this guy say  _ his  _ name.  _

_ The night goes on just fine, anxiety be damned, and after Freddy’s performance, Joe gets up to go to the bathroom.  _

_ Eddie stands soon after. “You know what, while he’s up, I’ve gotta go make a quick phone call. Be right back.” _

_ Before Freddy has a chance to process anything, White turns to him with that inviting smile of his. _

_ “Want I should get us some more drinks?” he asks, red light of the bar casting a warm glow around him. _

_ “Sure,” Freddy breathes. “Beer’s fine.” _

_ When White returns, he holds out the bottle to Freddy. Shaky fingers reach out to grab it, and their hands meet. The split second puts a stupid smirk on Freddy’s face, unsure how to react but nowhere near complaining. _

_ He takes the beer and gives a little laugh. He can feel how red his face is, but White probably doesn’t notice. The bar is so red anyway, it’s hard to tell. _

_ Freddy must be lost in his own head, because White gives a little chuckle and nudges his arm.  _

_ “You there, kid?” _

_ “Oh, shit, sorry. I was, uh… I zoned out, I guess,” Freddy says. He’s thoroughly embarrassed now, and he’s gonna have to work with this guy. Oh no, he has to work with this guy. _

_ “Happens. So, you into sports at all? Because let me tell you, kid, I cleaned the fuck up on the Brewers…” White starts. _

_ He’s not even fazed. The guy brushed it off like it’s nothing, like he didn’t even notice. _

Oh no _ , Freddy thinks.  _ I’m in trouble now.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**thanks you profusely for everything, no matter how small**

_ Their meeting is pretty much over, and as the men all walk out of the bar, Freddy leans against the wall and watches them. _

_ Brown is laughing, trying foolishly to get Pink to believe another of his wild theories about where the word “groovy” really came from. Pink, on the other hand, is pulling his coat on, looking anywhere but at the goofy bastard talking his ear off. Blue has a cigar in his mouth, puffing on it as he tries to find his car in the lot. Blonde and Eddie are playfully shoving each other, saying nasty things back and forth but maintaining their playful smiles as they head for the same car. Joe is waiting by his car, finishing off a smoke before climbing into the driver’s seat. _

_ Freddy’s almost about to wonder where White is, but then he hears his molasses voice from just behind. _

_ “What’re ya watchin’, kid?” White taps his shoulder, and when Freddy spins around in surprise, he laughs. “Jeez, sorry! Didn’t mean to give you a fuckin’ heart attack!” _

_ Freddy regains his composure and smiles. “Nah, I’m fine, no problem. I was just, ah… Nothin’.” _

_ White shrugs. “Did you drive here?” _

_ He shakes his head. “Walked.” _

_ “Want a lift?” _

_ Of course he does. Freddy can think of a thousand reasons why he wants to drive home with White, and not one of them involves his undercover assignment. _

_ “Thank you so much,” Freddy says as he closes the car door.  _

_ White waves a hand. “It’s nothing, kid. Really.” _

_ The drive back to Freddy’s is long and pleasant. The apartment is about three miles away, but for some reason, Freddy keeps forgetting to tell White when to turn. They’re laughing and chatting, first joking about how crazy Brown is (“I bet Joe came up with his code name because he’d be spreading shit on the walls in some fuckin’ nuthouse!”), then about the waitress (“That girl was practically fuckin’ drooling over Blonde and that motherfucker didn’t even notice.”), and finally, just as they approach the building, the conversation shifts. _

_ “Thanks again for the ride, seriously. Thank you.” Freddy watches White park the car and smiles. _

_ White laughs. “Kid, you don’t have to thank me so damn much!” _

_ “But I really fuckin’ appreciate you!” Freddy blurts, and oh shit, he meant to say it, not you. “What you did for me, it was real fuckin’ nice. That’s all.” _

_ He doesn’t notice the mix-up, just looks at Freddy tenderly.  _

_ “Y’know, I was thinking of going to this great bar I know downtown tomorrow night. You busy?”  _

_ Freddy has a meeting with Holdaway, but fuck that. He can cut it short. _

_ “No, I got nothin’ planned tomorrow.” Freddy gives a nod. _

_ “Fantastic,” White says, face lighting up. “So I’ll pick you up around 8?” _

_ “Sounds great,” he half-whispers. “Thanks for the ride.” _

_ White laughs again, moves to playfully nudge the kid. “Would ya quit it?” _

_ Freddy chuckles. “Sorry!” He puts his hands up in surrender, then opens the car door. “See ya.” _

_ “Bye.” _

_ As Freddy climbs out and closes the door, he turns around and taps the window. White rolls it down to find Freddy grinning devilishly. _

_ “Thank you for the ride!” he cackles. _

_ “Fuckin’ hell, you know what!” White calls, but Freddy is already walking to the door. _

_ The car stays parked there as White watches to make sure Freddy gets in safely. He stops by the door and turns, and since the window is still rolled down, he cups his hands around his mouth. _

_ “Thank you!” he shouts, waving and laughing. _

_ White flips him off, all the while still grinning from ear to ear. _

 


	3. Chapter 3

**rests his head on your shoulder**

_ They’re driving home from lunch when Larry notices how tired the kid is.  _

_ “When we get there, you wanna just go straight to bed?” he asks. _

_ “No, no, I wanna watch a movie or somethin’. Wasn’t that the plan?” Orange sits up a bit in an effort to look more awake. _

_ It doesn’t help. _

_ They pull up to the complex and Larry opens Orange’s door for him, gives him an arm with which to pull himself out of the car. They walk up to the apartment and Orange just collapses on his couch.  _

_ It’s lucky Larry is there to lock the door behind him. _

_ He moves over to the couch and sits down next to Orange. Larry tunes the TV to some rerun, and soon the few inches of space between them get smaller and smaller. Orange dozes off, leaning his head on Larry’s shoulder happily. _

_ He wants to pull him in for a hug, wants to carry him to bed and take a nap with him, but that little gold band makes Larry nervous, like Orange won’t be interested. _

_ Still, Larry isn’t afraid of anything, and to prove that to himself, he clears his throat and asks. _

_ “Hey, kid?” _

_ “Hmm?” he groans. _

_ “How come you never talk about your wife?” Larry won’t admit to himself he’s nervous, because that would be ridiculous. _

_ “Wife? What wife?” Orange’s eyes snap open. “Oh, uh... “ He sighs. “It’s not… I’m not really married.” _

_ It’s a good thing his eyes are closed again, otherwise he’d see the grin creeping across Larry’s face. _

_ “No? You’re not?” He tries not to sound too excited. _

_ “Nah.” _

_ Larry slips his arm around the kid and pulls him a little closer. “Good.” _


	4. Chapter 4

**shares everything he can think to share with you, be it a drink or a cigarette**

_ Larry puts his arm around Orange as they walk out of the bar, seeking out his car in the big, dark lot. When they find it, they lean up against the trunk for a few minutes to talk. _

_ “Shame you can’t see the stars out here. Back in Wisconsin, shit, you could see a million fuckin’ stars at night.” Larry sighs wistfully and turns to look over at Orange. _

_ “Yeah? Bet it’s beautiful,” he says with a little smile. _

_ Larry sticks his hands in his pocket to find his cigarettes, but comes up empty. “Shit, right. Smoked the last one back there.” _

_ Orange digs through his jacket to find his pack. “I got it.” _

_ Before Larry can protest, the pack is out and a cigarette is in Orange’s hand. _

_ “What the fuck. Looks like I’m down to one.” He holds it out to Larry, a look in his eyes so sweet it makes Larry’s teeth hurt.  _

_ “Oh, c’mon, you don’t have to give up your last fuckin’ cigarette for me. Keep it, enjoy it, kid,” Larry says, shaking his head. _

_ “We can share it,” Orange murmurs, and when he sees Larry’s eyes crinkle in the corners, he smiles back. _

_ Larry pulls out his Zippo and snaps. “If you insist.” _


	5. Chapter 5

**sits down and tries to explain all his interests to you, even the ones you have no hope of getting, and tries to teach you everything he knows**

_ Larry’s not a big comics fan. In fact, he hardly knows anything about superheroes besides that Superman is the good guy.  _

_ If someone offered to sit him down and teach him about it, he’d probably laugh the motherfucker out of the room, or maybe even hit him for wasting his time, depending on what mood he was in. _

_ But, here he is, sitting on the foot of Orange’s bed with the biggest smile on his face, watching this kid get so worked up about something called the Fantastic Four. _

_ “And there’s this other dude, the Thing, and he’s made of this rock shit which used to be his skin, and-” he cuts himself off, arms still held up in a half-completed gesture of excitement. His face goes red. “Fuck, I’ve been going on like a fuckin’ idiot for like a half hour, haven’t I?” _

_ Larry, still beaming, takes the kid’s hand and squeezes it. “Nah, I’m interested. What about that girl you mentioned? Isn’t there a girl in this Fantastic Four?” _

_ Lights go off behind the kid’s eyes, and he’s ecstatic again. “Yeah! The Invisible Woman. She used to be Invisible Girl, but then there was this whole episode where she gets changed into the villainess Malice by Psycho-Man and his android Hate-Monger, where they used her against the Fantastic Four- or really three if you think about it- but they break her free. So when she’s finally free she exacts this crazy fuckin’ revenge on Psycho-Man, and used his emotion-warping technology against him. She was so traumatized and changed after all the fuckin’ crazy shit that happened, she changed her alias to Invisible Woman. Crazy, right?” _

_ Larry nods. He doesn’t understand any of this, and he’s sure the kid can tell, but watching him so happy and relaxed is wonderful, and Larry feels a warmth in his heart knowing Orange is trying so hard to bring him into his world. He’s not trying to be tough or cool or impressive, he’s just letting himself come out, and he wants to share that self with Larry. _

_ “Sounds totally fuckin’ insane.” _


	6. Chapter 6

**asks for your help with things, even when you suspect he doesn’t need it**

_ Freddy sits next to Larry on the couch, both unwrapping their burgers over their laps.  _

_ Larry picks two beers out of the six pack they bought on the way home and hands one to Freddy, shooting him a smile that makes Freddy’s stomach flip. He opens his beer with his hand, strong and impressive. Freddy moves to take his opener from his pocket, then stops himself. _

_ “Shit, Larry… I think I left my bottle-opener in the car or something.” He makes a half-hearted attempt to open his bottle by hand, then shoots Larry a helpless look. _

_ Larry shakes his head and chuckles under his breath. “I’ve got it, kid.” _

_ One swift twist of strong, calloused hands have his drink open. Freddy hopes his gawking isn’t quite as obvious as it feels. _

_ “Thanks.” Freddy goes to take a sip, but pauses. He puts the bottle down, carefully moves his lunch to the coffee table where Larry’s now sits, and turns to look at the man beside him again. _

_ As soon as Larry puts his beer down, Freddy tackles him down onto the couch, crushing his lips against Larry’s and grabbing one hand. _

_ Larry soon flips him over, kissing him excitedly and laughing all the while.  _

_ “Ow, fuck!” Larry grunts. _

_ “What?” Freddy’s eyes open wide as dinner plates at the sound. _

_ “Kid… Is that your fuckin’ bottle opener?” Larry reaches into Freddy’s pocket to pull it out. He shakes his head again, trying not to laugh but doing a poor job of suppressing the smile. _

_ “Oh, there it is,” Freddy says in phony surprise. “I thought I’d lost it.” _

_ “Bullshit!” Larry laughs. _

_ Freddy blushes. “Fine, fine, you caught me… Just wanted to watch you help me.” _

_ Larry doesn’t answer, but instead goes back to kissing him. After a moment, he says against Freddy’s lips, “All ya had to do was ask, y’know. How about I help you with something else?”  _

_ He reaches down to undo Freddy’s belt, pausing for permission. _

_ Freddy takes a deep but shaky breath, butterflies swarming through his stomach.  _

_ “Have I ever said no to that?” he teases, eagerly moving his own hands to push Larry’s shirt up. _

_ “Just making sure,” Larry smiles, and goes back to kissing Freddy down his jawline to his neck. _


	7. Chapter 7

**tries to drink what you drink, and as much as you drink, even though his tolerance is very very low by comparison**

_ The music in this place is much too loud, Larry can’t help but think. Is this what it’s like to be old? He looks at Orange, who really should be called Green, and wonders if it’s bothering him too. _

_ “Larry?” he says, big green eyes straining to see through the dim, smoky room. _

_ “Yeah?”  _

_ “It’s so fuckin’ loud in here. Can we get some fuckin’ drinks already so I can stop caring?” His face breaks out in a smile, and even in the low light, it still makes Larry’s heart soar. _

_ “Sure.” Larry leads the kid over to the bar and waves down the bartender. “I’ll take a bourbon, neat, and… What’ll you have, kid?” _

_ Orange thinks for a second, then nods. “Same’s good.” _

_ Larry’s eyebrows go straight to his hairline at that. “Really? Okay, two bourbons, neat.” He puts a hand on the kid’s shoulder and smiles. _

_ Larry can see right through him. He’s seen Orange drink. This kid’s tolerance is that of an 18-year-old, and he usually sticks to beer. Light beer.  _

_ They get their drinks and start talking, and Larry waits to take a sip. He notices the kid won’t touch the drink until he does, and when he does finally have some, Orange takes a beer sip of it- at least twice as big as he should. _

_ His face screws up for a second, like he just drank fire, and Larry watches cautiously, ready to grab the pitcher of water next to him and hand it to Orange. He settles though, and gives a pathetic little thumbs-up.  _

_ Throughout their conversation, Larry tries not to drink too much. Poor kid is trying so hard, it’s adorable, but he doesn’t want to see him pass out here, or worse- lose his dinner. _

_ They finish their first glass and everything seems fine, so Larry orders another. There’s Orange again, also wanting one more, and Larry doesn’t want him to know his cover is blown, so to speak. So, he orders another round for both of them.  _

_ Somehow they get to the third drink, and poor Orange is sloshed. He’s got his chin resting on his hand making love eyes at Larry, completely oblivious. At one point he reaches over to take Larry’s hand, but misses completely and smacks his palm on the bar. _

_ “Hey Larry,” he fake-whispers over the thumping music behind them. _

_ “Yeah?” Larry replies, same worried look on his face that hasn’t changed in an hour. _

_ “Let’s go… back to my place,” Orange slurs. _

_ Finally, an idea Larry can get behind. This kid needs to go home, have some coffee, and sleep this off. So he pays and helps the kid off the stool, walks him out to the car, practically carries him. As he’s helping him into the seat of the car, Orange looks up at him. _

_ “See, Larry? What’d I tell ya? I can fuckin’ drink. I ain’t a fuckin’ damn pussy…” He hiccups and giggles. _

_ Larry stops, puts a hand up, and closes the car door. He hurries around to the driver’s side and gets in next to him.  _

_ “Kid, look at me.” _

_ “Hmm? You look like a million fuckin’ dollars,” he smiles, eyes lidded. _

_ “Hey. Listen. I never ever ever fuckin’ thought you were a pussy. Never. I don’t give a fuck if you can drink. I don’t care.” He takes Orange’s hand and squeezes it.  _

_ Tears start to well in those beautiful green eyes. “You mean that? Ah, shit, Larry, I made a fuckin’ ass of myself…” _

_ Larry runs a hand through the kid’s hair to get it off his forehead. “Nah, you’re fine. We’re fine. You wanna go home? Wanna go to bed?” _

_ Orange nods, mess of sandy hair falling back in his face. “Can you stay with me?” he says softly as Larry turns to start the car. _

_ “Of course I can, kid. Somebody’s gotta make sure you don’t puke all over the fuckin’ bed after all, right?” Larry chuckles, which brings a smile to Orange’s face. _

_ “Thanks,” Orange says as he starts to lean against the car door. _

_ Larry drives them back to Orange’s apartment, and before he gets out, he looks to his right. Orange is leaning against the window, sleeping, snoring softly. It gives Larry a moment to think about the night. This kid, who damn well knows he’s a lightweight, tried so hard to impress Larry that he was willing to give himself alcohol poisoning. If Larry had continued enough to get himself drunk, he’d be watching paramedics pump Orange’s stomach, but he was willing to risk all that just so Larry would think he’s cool. _

_ It’s foolish, yeah, but Larry is still moved by it. If only this kid knew. _


	8. Chapter 8

**traces his name into your back with his fingertip**

_ Larry still doesn’t know Orange’s real name. _

_ It’s not that he hasn’t almost told him, it’s just that Larry knows how anxious this guy is, and doesn’t want to give him anything else extra to worry about. He can tell Larry when the job is over and they’re on their way to Mexico. _

_ Some nights, when Orange is wide awake, he’ll just run his fingers along Larry’s skin. Larry sleeps on his stomach, so often as he falls asleep, Orange will trace little symbols and trails along his back. _

_ More often than not, he’ll spell things out. Larry’s not the best at figuring out what they are, partly from no practice and partly from sleepiness, but he’s noticed there’s one thing, one word he keeps spelling. _

_ Larry starts to pay more attention, makes out an F, an E, a D, a Y. Soon he figures out this is probably the kid’s name, and though he knows if he just thinks for five minutes, he’ll figure it out, he just can’t do that in good conscience.  _

_ Still, though, Larry feels like he’s trying to tell him, at least showing he wants Larry to know, but he can’t do it. _

_ A while after he started spelling it, maybe a week, Brown mentions Freddy Krueger at a meeting. The moment the first name comes out of his mouth, Larry sees Orange’s eyes flash, like panic beginning to boil over. His arm is around Orange, so he gives him a little squeeze, just enough to reassure him.  _

_ It reassures him for a second. He looks to Larry with something else behind his eyes, something a bit harder to read. It’s both a question and an answer all at once, and Larry can’t quite place it, but he knows this is his only chance to try. _

_ “Did you get my message?” his eyes seem to say. “I trust you.” _

_ But Larry isn’t sure, and the moment is over as quickly as it began. _

_ He knows one thing for certain, though. He can never speak Orange’s real name aloud, though he may want to so desperately. _


	9. Chapter 9

**kisses you like he could never get enough, like he’s starved for you**

_ Orange is the best kisser Larry’s ever had, man or woman. In all his years, there’s never been anyone who makes his entire body light up the way Orange can with just a minute of kissing.  _

_ It may be the fact that his feelings for Orange completely surpass any he’s ever felt for anyone, or the fact that he’s young and vibrant and incredibly attractive, but something about the way he kisses just knocks Larry right off his heels. _

_ They walk into Orange’s apartment one afternoon after going out to lunch together, and the second they cross the threshold and the door is closed, he’s jumping on Larry, kissing him the way a starved person eats. _

_ Larry may be the more dominant one, but when Orange gets like this, he lets him take over. Hands go up into Larry’s hair that then move quickly down to his waist, like they can’t decide where they like best. Sometimes he’ll bite Larry’s bottom lip- gently, not to hurt- and sometimes he’ll run his tongue along it. Once, he kissed Larry so hard, his mouth was sore for the rest of the day. _

_ Even in the morning, it’s like he’s making up for lost time. Larry loves every second of it, though he can’t always match the energy. _

_ Not that he doesn’t try. _


	10. Chapter 10

**when he’s sleepy or drunk, he clings to you like a burr to wool, and when he’s sober and awake, he does so only a little bit less**

_ The music is still pounding loudly through the speakers of the bar, but Larry would recognize this sound through any noise around him. _

_ Orange makes the soft groaning noise he does when he starts to get really drunk, and as he does so, he leans into Larry just a little more than usual. _

_ He looks down at the kid, whose eyes are lidded and whose smile is a bit too crooked. He slips an arm around his waist and feels Orange melt into his arm, nearly collapsing.  _

_ “You okay?” _

_ Orange goes to nod, but just tilts his head back against Larry’s shoulder and forgets to move down again. “Larry…” he lets out almost involuntarily.  _

_ “You know what, kid? I’m starting to get a little tired. How about we go home?” Larry asks, sweet in his attempt to not notice Orange’s stupor. _

_ A hiccup, a giggle. “You’re so old, Larry,” Orange laughs. “I’ll help you cross the street like a good boy scout.”  _

_ Larry’s eyebrows go up and oh, does he want to laugh, but he couldn’t bear to potentially insult the kid. He really thinks he’s being serious. _

_ “You got me, I’m an old man who needs to get home to bed,” Larry sighs. “Come on, kid, I’ll help you.” _

_ Orange makes a face like he’s going to say he doesn’t need help, almost sure of himself, but as he goes to take a step, his eyes widen and he wobbles. “Thanks.” _

_ Larry pays their tab and helps Orange out of the bar, one arm around him to hold him up and the other in front of him so he won’t fall. When they get to the car, Orange looks around. _

_ “What are you looking for, kid, spies?” Larry chuckles. _

_ “Nah,” he says. “Eyes.” _

_ “Eyes?” Now Larry is worried. “What are you-” _

_ He’s cut off by Orange pulling him in for a kiss, pushing him up against the car. One hand is holding one of Larry’s, the other reached around in Larry’s hair. Larry’s surprise soon fades into a smile. The kiss is sloppy and drunk but it’s also needy and loving, and- salty? _

_ He opens his eyes for a second to see tears streaming down Orange’s face. He’s desperately trying to pull Larry closer to him, almost panicking when he can’t get any closer. _

_ “Larry,” Orange breathes against his lips. “I wanna go home with you.” _

_ For a moment, Larry is caught in a dilemma- wipe the tears from the boy’s cheeks, or be respectful and pretend he doesn’t notice the crying.  _

_ He chooses the former.  _

_ They pull apart slowly and Larry wipes the tears with the pad of his thumb.  _

_ “Please take me home with you, Larry,” Orange whispers, sad green eyes practically begging Larry to hold him. _

_ “Kid… I was already planning on it, it’s okay,” Larry says softly. He may not understand why the guy is worried (apart from drunkenness and lack of sleep), but he does know he never wants to see Orange cry again, even if it kills him. It’s already killing him now. _

_ He takes Orange to the passenger side, fastens his seatbelt and closes his door for him. Larry jogs to the driver’s side as fast as he can- he can already hear Orange sighing.  _

_ The whole ride home, Orange is leaning on Larry, holding his hand on the gearshift or clinging to his arm. When they pull into the motel lot and park, Larry helps him out of the car and kisses the side of his head before they walk in. _

_ Once they’re in the suite, Larry picks Orange up and carries him to the bed. He’s stopped crying, but his face still holds a profound sadness Larry just can’t figure out. Why is he sad? They’re together, aren’t they? _

_ Larry carefully undresses him, taking his shoes and jeans off and then carefully taking off his shirt. He kisses his stomach through his undershirt, trying to get a smile, but still the worry persists. _

_ Larry undresses himself quickly and gets into bed next to Orange. He moves to kiss him, but Orange is already rolling himself over on top of Larry. _

_ “Please hold me,” he whispers. “Please hold me.” _

_ Of course, Larry does. His arms wrap around Orange, who buries his face in Larry’s chest and sighs again. _

_ “I gotcha,” Larry says. “I gotcha, I ain’t gonna let anything hurt ya.” He repeats it over and over, even long after Orange falls asleep. “You’re safe, I’m right here. I’m right here.” _

 


	11. Chapter 11

**runs his fingers through your hair on nights when he can’t sleep**

_ Freddy’s insomnia always seems to be worse on nights he really needs to sleep. It’s gotten easier since he and Larry started spending more and more nights together, but still, it takes hours to get to sleep. _

_ He’s found a few ways to pass the time. He can count all the tiles on the ceiling, if they’re at Larry’s. He can trace little words and names and shapes on Larry’s back, if he falls asleep without a shirt. He can go through the alphabet backwards and forwards and backwards again.  _

_ Lately though, he’s been partial to running his fingers through Larry’s hair. It started one night when Larry rolled over to face away from Freddy and never moved from his side to his stomach. Freddy just started twirling his fingers through Larry’s soft brown hair, finding it soothing.  _

_ One morning Larry wakes up with the most interesting bed head he’s ever seen, and when he looks to Freddy for an explanation, he’s finally half-asleep. Through dream-heavy eyes Freddy sees Larry smile and lean in to kiss his forehead. _


	12. Chapter 12

**reaches to hold your hand in his sleep**

_ Orange is finally sleeping. Poor kid has been tossing and turning for hours, but he’s finally out. Larry’s a much lighter sleeper than Orange knows, occasionally checking up on him throughout the night without his knowledge.  _

_ Larry is all but fast asleep again when he’s disturbed. _

_ “No, no please,” Orange softly pleads in his sleep.  _

_ Attention piqued, Larry sits up and watches Orange. His face is screwed up in a pained expression and he’s reaching around for something.  _

_ “Larry!” he cries, hand searching the sheet in front of him. “Larry!” _

_ Unsure of what to do, Larry puts his hand out for Orange to take. He does, and like magic, he relaxes. _

_ “Larry… Oh, Larry… I… I’m sorry…” He screws his face up again, almost in anticipation of a blow. _

_ “I’m here, kid, it’s okay. It’s okay, you don’t have to be sorry, I’m here,” Larry says softly. “It’s okay.” _

_ He can’t hear though. “Sorry… Sorry…” Orange rolls over to face the other way, still clinging to Larry’s hand. _

_ Larry rolls with him and spoons the poor kid. His breath is shaky, like he’s about to cry, but the tears never come.  _

_ It takes a while for Larry to get back to sleep. He just keeps wondering who hurt his boy, why he would be so anxious, have such nightmares.  _

_ Just before he falls asleep, Larry makes the same vow he’s been making for weeks now- he will never let anyone hurt Orange again. _


	13. Chapter 13

**leans into you when some tough looking guys glare at you on the walk back to the car**

_ Orange is only two beers out from sober, Larry didn’t even finish his one bourbon. They decided to leave the bar early and spend the rest of the evening together, and it’s only a few minutes past midnight, so Orange is pretty confident on their walk to the car. He’s holding Larry’s hand and making a joke when they approach the group of mean-looking young men smoking outside. _

_ Larry doesn’t pay them any heed at first, but he feels Orange lean in just a step closer to him. He’s ready to smile back at the kid when he hears it. _

_ It’s not loud, but one guy nudges the man next to him and laughs. “Fuckin’ fags.” _

_ Larry stops cold, and though at first he almost releases Larry’s hand, Orange clings to his arm.  _

_ A smile appears on Larry’s face, and he turns to face the gentlemen. “I’m sorry, what did you say? I didn’t quite catch it.”  _

_ A different guy pipes up. “He said you two are a couple of-” He stops short when Larry nonchalantly pulls his jacket aside to reveal his gun. _

_ Orange whispers something that sounds like, “Shit, Larry, you’re fuckin’ carrying?” But Larry is busy. _

_ “A couple of what? What did you say we were?” Larry’s tone is cool and flat, and his volume is very nearly too low for the group to hear. _

_ One man in the back laughs. “Fuckin’ faggots!” he shouts, much to the displeased surprise of the others around him. _

_ “That’s what I thought you said.” Larry reaches to take his gun. _

_ “Shit!” one man shouts, and the group scatters, most of them rushing into the bar. _

_ Larry turns to Orange, who’s still holding onto Larry’s arm for dear life, and smiles. “I’m sorry about that, kid. What was the joke you were tellin’ me?” _


	14. Chapter 14

**holds your hand every chance he gets, even while you’re driving**

_ Traffic is backed up for at least a mile, but even though he’s looked out the window twice in the last minute, Freddy has no clue.  _

_ He’s chatting with Larry, radio a low hum beneath their conversation. Freddy takes his hand, the one resting lazily on the gear shift, and squeezes it tight.  _

_ Larry looks down and smiles a bit wider. “You know what I love, kid?” _

_ Freddy, feeling cocky, smirks. “Me?” _

_ “More than anything,” Larry returns, surprisingly serious tone clashing with the soft smile on his face. “But I also really love when you do that.” _

_ “Do what?”  _

_ “Hold my hand, y’know. Fuckin’ love that.” He gently runs his thumb up and down the edge of Freddy’s palm. _

_ He leans in to kiss Larry, still clutching his right hand while the other reaches up into Freddy’s hair.  _

_ They kiss for a solid minute before they’re startled, Freddy so much so that he knocks his nose into Larry’s. _

_ “Stupid motherfuckers, always honking for no-” Larry looks to see the cars in front of him have moved. “Shit. Sorry kid, guess I got distracted.”  _

_ Freddy just smiles smugly to himself.  _


	15. Chapter 15

**always wants to know what you’re thinking**

_ Larry is comfortable on the couch with his arm around Orange. The movie they’re watching is at a commercial break, and about thirty seconds in, he feels a pair of eyes on him. _

_ “What?” he chuckles, turning to face Orange. _

_ “What’re you thinking about?” Orange asks, smirking. _

_ Larry pauses for a second. “Two things. One, I like this Hannibal guy. He’s a fuckin’ card. Two, you’ve got something on your face.” _

_ Orange’s eyes go wide for a second as his hands rush up to his cheeks. “I do?” _

_ “Yeah,” Larry smiles, and leans in for a kiss. _


	16. Chapter 16

**compliments you often, and usually for silly things like how well your fridge is organized or how clean your sink is**

_ Sometimes Larry thinks the kid is reaching, but he always somehow manages to pull a compliment out of his hat. Usually it warms Larry’s heart, but every once in awhile, it makes him laugh, too. _

_ He hears the dreamy sigh from the other side of the room and smiles. “What’s on your mind, kid?” _

_ “Just… You’re so fuckin’ great, Larry... Your place is so… clean. It’s great. You’re great.” Orange blushes just as Larry turns to look at him, a laugh threatening to breach his lips. _

_ Larry almost says Orange is ridiculous, almost makes a joke about the motel maid, but the look on his face is enough to melt whatever part of Larry’s heart the kid isn’t already holding.  _

_ “You’re great,” he says softly, grinning as he moves over to the bed where Orange sits. He kisses his forehead gently. “I don’t deserve you.” _

_ Orange just shakes his head, opening his mouth to speak but changing his mind, eyes cast downward. _


	17. Chapter 17

**sits and watches you shave one morning, just admiring the way the blade glides across your skin**

_ Larry is already up by the time Freddy rolls out of bed. Their usual routine always starts this way, with Larry either washing up or making breakfast when Freddy opens his eyes. _

_ Freddy rubs his eyes and swings his legs over the side of the bed, sleep weighing his thin frame down. He shuffles over to the kitchen and frowns when he finds it empty.  _

_ “Larry?” he asks, moving to the bathroom door. It’s about half open, and Freddy peers in to see Larry shaving.  _

_ The sun is streaming in through the frosted glass of the bathroom window, hitting Larry with a soft glow that glints off the straight razor he glides along his skin. Freddy just stands there and watches, lips slightly parted, hair falling just shy of his wide green eyes.  _

_ Larry catches him in the mirror and smirks. “Good morning sunshine,” he says, smooth molasses voice sending a chill down Freddy’s spine. _

_ It takes him a minute to come back to earth. “Oh, uh, good morning.” His nervous chuckle cracks a bit at the end, so he clears his throat.  _

_ “You ever use a straight razor?” Larry asks as he sweeps up his left cheek, making no mention of the kid’s stare. _

_ Freddy shakes his head. “Nah, always afraid I’ll cut myself.” _

_ Larry finishes the last three strokes and rinses the blade, then his face. He picks up the bleach-stained blue towel on Freddy’s sink counter and pats his face dry. “I could show you how, if you want,” he says into the towel. _

_ “I- yeah, that’d be nice,” Freddy nods. “Promise not to cut me?” _

_ He puts the towel down and looks at Freddy, face just shy of dead serious. “Kid, I’d never be able to forgive myself if I let you get hurt.” _

 


	18. Chapter 18

**though he knows he’s not supposed to, he still catches himself starting to ask things about your life (and more often than not, you tell him anyway)**

_ Freddy and Larry are stuck in LA traffic once again; by Freddy’s count, this is the sixth time they’ve been caught in it together. Part of him is a little worried- this is definitely fraternizing, and this is also definitely against Joe’s rules. Just as every other time those thoughts come up, another comes to mind.  _

This I’m getting moral about, but fucking him I can handle?

_ “You okay kid?” Larry asks, alerting Freddy to his silence. _

_ “Yeah, I am. Just thinkin’.” He looks down at his hands. _

_ “What about?” Larry taps the steering wheel a couple times, trying to will the cars in front of them to move.  _

_ “Oh, it’s stupid… When I was a kid, I never thought I’d be where I am now, I guess.” At least that’s true. Hell, he never thought he’d be here a month ago. _

_ “Good way or bad way?” Larry turns to look at Freddy and rubs his shoulder. _

_ Freddy thinks for a moment, the desire to be honest pushing up through his chest, threatening to come out. He weighs his options and swallows hard. “I always wanted to be a cop as a kid.” _

_ Freddy expects a frown or a look or  _ something  _ negative, but Larry chuckles. _

_ “That makes sense, because of the superheroes, right?”  _

_ Everything stops. He freezes up in surprise. He was expecting some sort of disconnect, but Larry handed him acceptance and understanding and the fact that he remembered the superheroes; the world could end right there and Freddy would be happy. _

_ “Yeah,” he half-chuckles. “But I like this a little better, I think,” he adds quickly. _

_ “Good thing you’re not a cop,” Larry starts.  _

_ Freddy holds his breath. _

_ “Wouldn’t have met you.”  _

_ He’s in so deep, he’s breathing water.  _

_ “What about you, Larry? Did you, uh... What was your childhood like?” Freddy again says it softly, like he’s afraid of the response. He expects a scolding or a frown, something about not sharing information, but the moment Larry speaks, he remembers just who he’s dealing with. _

_ “It was shit, to tell ya the truth. Dad was a fuckin’ alcoholic.” Larry’s tone is almost alarmingly calm. _

_ Freddy’s eyes widen. “Me too,” he says. “But he left when I was five.” _

_ “Yeah? I’m sorry, kid. I get it though, my dear old dad used to come back around for a while after my parents split, used to get raging fuckin’ drunk and beat on my mom and me.” He pauses, then takes Freddy’s hand. “Killed my mom when I was eight, that motherfucker.” _

_ Freddy’s stomach hits the floor, suddenly wishing he hadn’t brought it up. Still, he keeps talking, not out of obligation, but because he’s never felt this close to anyone. “Shit, I’m sorry Larry… I was kinda by myself a lot growing up, y’know? Latchkey kid. Didn’t ah… Didn’t have a lot of friends.” _

_ Larry squeezes his hand and leans over to kiss his head. “I understand,” he says, and Freddy believes it. “Long as you’re with me, you’ll never be alone again. Got it? No matter what.” _

_ And Freddy has a million things to say, a million words on the tip of his tongue to try and give back some of the safety and love Larry just gave him, but the cars start moving faster again, and Larry moves his focus back to driving.  _


	19. Chapter 19

**tries to get more into sports for you (it doesn’t work, but you appreciate it regardless)**

_ The Brewers are playing the Rangers today, and Larry is glued to the television.  _

_ “Come on, you son of a bitch, make me some fuckin’ money!” he shouts, fists clenched in anticipation. He jumps out of his seat, fuming. “The fuck was that? You’re supposed to hit the ball!” _

_ Freddy is in the other room opening a couple of beers, smiling when he hears Larry yelling at the TV.  _

_ Larry was a little surprised when Freddy invited him over to watch the game. He may not know Freddy’s name, but he knows damn sure the kid doesn’t like sports. In fact, when they first met, Freddy thought the Brewers were a football team. But Freddy wants to impress Larry, wants to show interest in the things he likes, so he read up a little on baseball and invited him over. _

_ “Thanks, kid,” Larry says as Freddy hands him a bottle. “Can you believe this shit? Suddenly Vaughn forgot how to fuckin’ hit.” _

_ “How much you got ridin’ on this game?” Freddy asks. He sits down close to Larry on the couch and leans forward to match Larry’s position. _

_ “Three.” _

_ “Thousand?” Freddy’s eyes go wide. When Larry nods, he exhales sharply. “With who?” _

_ “Old buddy of mine. Don’t worry about it, kid. Even if I lose, I’ll win it back. And besides, we’ve got some money comin’ our way real soon.” He nudges Freddy and chuckles.  _

_ Freddy tries to get into the game more. “Wait, why didn’t he run? The guy hit the ball, didn’t he?” _

_ Larry smiles sweetly at him. “It was a foul. It went into the wrong territory, so they can’t count it as a hit.” _

_ “Oh. That fuckin’ sucks, man,” he frowns. _

_ Larry picks up the remote and mutes the TV. “Kid, I know what’s going on. I know you ain’t watched baseball a day in your life, and I know you never wanted to.” _

_ Freddy sighs and looks down, embarrassed. _

_ “Hey, hey, listen, I don’t care if you like baseball. I don’t care if you hate baseball. I don’t care about any of that shit, kid. Got it? All I care about is this.” He gestures between them. “Long as this is still positive, I don’t care if you like sports.” _

_ “You sure?” Freddy finds the words in his mouth and finds they taste needy, so he frowns again. _

_ “Damn sure. But it was real nice of you to try. I appreciate it.” He kisses Freddy’s temple and goes back to the game, and without missing a beat, goes back to his laser-sharp focus. _

_ Freddy bites his lip, allowing the words to sink in. He’s still a little embarrassed, but he’d rather be embarrassed in front of sweet, supportive Larry than anyone else. _


	20. Chapter 20

**finds a spot on your neck that drives you wild and kisses you there whenever he can**

_ It’s storming outside, lightning illuminating the darkened apartment for just a second with each crash of thunder. Freddy is sitting in Larry’s lap, kissing him like he’s drinking from the only fountain in an endless desert. _

_ Soon he moves down to kiss Larry’s neck, nipping gently until he hears a gasp. _

_ He stops for a moment, warm breath ghosting against Larry’s warmer skin. _

_ “Fuck, kid, why’d you stop? You okay?” Larry asks, slightly more out of breath than even he’d realized. _

_ “Oh, I’m just fine,” Freddy purrs. He goes right back to kissing Larry in that spot just above where his shoulder and collarbone meet, starting off softly and progressing to bites. _

_ “Hey, hey, kid,” Larry pipes up, head tilted back against the wall. “Kid, don’t leave me any marks.” _

_ Freddy pulls back to check and at first, it’s dim enough in the room to miss it. Another flash of lightning strikes though, and the little reddish mark is visible. _

_ He goes back and bites one more time, kissing a trail up Larry’s neck and along his jawline to get to his lips.  _

_ When he gets there, he looks into Larry’s eyes and fails to hide his smile. “Oops.” _


	21. Chapter 21

**says your name as often as he can (never around Joe or the other guys, of course)**

_ Sometimes he catches him breathing it in his sleep, repeating it like a mantra to keep the nightmares away. Orange sighs it into his neck when they make out, cries it out when he’s startled, throws it into nearly every sentence into which it’ll fit. _

_ “Larry,” he says one morning to no one in particular; Larry is in the kitchen and Orange’s tone is just barely loud enough to hear. He says it like a statement, not a question.  _

_ “You okay kid?” Larry calls, already smiling as he makes his way down the short hall. _

_ “Good morning, Larry,” Orange grins sleepily. “Yeah, I’m fine. How did you sleep?” _

_ Larry gets it, understands why this kid is practically wearing his name paper thin. It’s a piece of information he’s not supposed to have, an intimate connection to the lover he’s supposed to keep strange. It’s more than that though, Larry realizes. Orange said so himself, he’s never felt as safe as he does with Larry. That’s probably why he’s constantly whispering his name in his sleep, when he does finally get some.  _

_ “I slept all right. How about you?”  _


	22. Chapter 22

**draws cute little cartoons in the fog on your mirror**

_ Orange strolls out of the bathroom, towel threatening to fall right off his waist. He pats Larry on the shoulder and winks. _

_ “All yours, babe,” he chuckles.  _

_ Larry’s eyebrows go up a bit in surprise at the confidence. He laughs a little and shakes his head as he walks into the bathroom. _

_ The mirror is fogged almost an inch thick, and on further inspection, there are lines drawn in it. Larry traces the curves with his eyes until he gets the message- it’s a cartoon. One group of lines is a figure that appears to be… Orange? Is that Orange? Larry lets out a belly laugh almost automatically.  _

_ It is Orange, cute and smiling with an exaggerated cartoonish nose, and there’s a thought bubble coming from his head.  _

_ “I FUCKING LOVE YOU LARRY,” the thought bubble reads in all caps. There’s a signature on the bottom of the mirror that’s really just a heart and a smiley face. Next to it Larry can make out something Orange tried to wipe away, but the faint markings of the letter F are still just barely visible. _

_ Larry turns around and opens the bathroom door to find Orange standing there in his shorts. He must’ve heard the laughter, because he’s blushing. _

_ “C’mere, kid,” Larry beams, and pulls him close in a tight hug. “Love you too.” _


	23. Chapter 23

**tries to make you breakfast one morning (and nearly burns the place down)**

_ Larry wakes to the sound of the smoke alarm and rolls over to find the other side of the bed empty. He jumps up and runs out to the kitchen, coughing as the smoke gets thicker.  _

_ “Orange? Kid where are you? What the fuck is goin’ on?” he shouts. He’s so frightened, he almost calls the kid Freddy.  _

_ “Larry? I think I made a mistake. Fuck, I’m so fuckin’ stupid…” Orange groans. _

_ Larry waves his arms around and makes it to the window, opening it to clear some of the smoke.  _

_ “What the hell happened? Are you okay?” Larry makes it to Orange and pulls him close, then inspects him for wounds.  _

_ “I was trying to make you breakfast and I guess I don’t even know how to make toast. How fuckin’ pathetic is that?” His tone is sad, but there’s a tiny laugh layered somewhere between self-pity and shame.  _

_ “Oh, kid… You were tryin’ to make me food? You nearly burned the fuckin’ building down!” Larry laughs, kissing Orange’s forehead. “Don’t worry about it. As long as you’re not hurt, that’s all I care about.” _

_ “I’m okay, Larry.” _

_ He smiles. “Good. How about we go out for breakfast today?”  _


	24. Chapter 24

**starts “forgetting” his fake wedding ring when he sees you**

_ They’re holding hands under the table at the diner, sitting comfortably in their favorite corner booth. Larry goes to rub the back of Freddy’s hand with his thumb when he notices. _

_ “Kid, are you… Are you not wearing your ring?” Larry asks softly, a warm smile on his face. _

_ Freddy feels a flutter in his stomach and puts his coffee down. Two answers come to mind, one bashful and one casual and carefree. It takes all his energy not to blush, and he decides to be casual about it. _

_ “Nah, guess I forgot,” he says, but his voice cracks a bit and his cheeks are pink.  _

_ “Why not?” Larry’s tone is almost playful, but he gets quieter and quieter as he speaks. _

_ “The other guys aren’t around, and I’m just with you, and I sure as hell ain’t actually married, so I guess I just thought… Fuck it.” Freddy’s voice is a nervous whisper, and Larry leans in to hear what he’s saying.  _

_ “Okay,” Larry grins, squeezing Freddy’s hand. He looks up and scans the room. The diner is practically empty, and when he’s sure the waitress isn’t looking, he kisses Freddy’s temple. _


	25. Chapter 25

**comes up behind you, slips his arms around your waist, and rests his chin on your shoulder**

_ Larry stands in the kitchen by the sink; he’s supposed to be doing the dishes but he’s intently listening to the K-Billy DJ.  _

_ “You and a lucky guest can win tickets to Eric Clapton’s sold-out show at Dodger Stadium coming up on the 29th,” the DJ drones, “All you guys and gals out there have to do… is be lucky caller number 29 tomorrow morning at nine AM...”  _

_ He smiles to himself, wondering if Orange would enjoy something like that. In fact, he’s just about to call him into the kitchen when he feels a warm pair of hands slide along his waist. _

_ Orange rests his chin on Larry’s shoulder and leans into him, hugging him close. “Hey.” _

_ Larry’s smile widens. “Hey kid, did you hear the radio just now? Clapton is coming to Dodger Stadium.” _

_ “Yeah? I didn’t hear it, what did he say? Isn’t it sold out?” Orange squeezes Larry closer, leaning down to kiss his shoulder. _

_ “There are two tickets left, they’re doing one of those call-in contests for ‘em. Wanna try? I figure it’s worth a shot, why the fuck not? We got nothin’ to lose,” Larry says, moving to turn the volume knob on the radio down so Orange isn’t drowned out by “Let It Rain.” _

_ Orange kisses his neck and hums, pretending to ponder Larry’s idea. _

_ “That’d be kickass, Larry,” he says softly against Larry’s skin, sending a chill down his spine. “It’s not now, is it?” _

_ “Nah, tomorrow.”  _

_ Orange turns Larry around and gives a little smirk. “Good, then we won’t miss anything,” he says as he pulls Larry to the bedroom. _


	26. Chapter 26

**catches himself doodling your name (and once, you catch it on an old newspaper he was painting action figures on)**

_ The sun peeks through the cheap venetian blinds on Orange’s bedroom window and lands right on Larry’s eye, waking him up. The poor kid next to him is finally asleep after yet another night of sitting up bleary-eyed and anxious, so Larry is careful to step out of the bed quietly. _

_ He makes himself some coffee and while he waits for the coffeemaker to ding, Larry looks at Orange’s kitchen table setup. He’s got newspapers all over half of it, jars of paint scattered across the newsprint and drops of red, blue, and gold dried over the headlines. One action figure Larry doesn’t recognize stands proudly next to a miniature Superman, both freshly painted. When Larry looks a bit closer at the unfamiliar hero, he finds some pen writing by the tiny red feet. _

_ “LARRY,” the scribbles read. At first Larry thinks it’s a note, but there are just more and more instances of his name on the page, each in a different style. There’s one of his name in blocky caps, another in a lazy scrawl, one more in a messy attempt at script.  _

_ Larry chuckles to himself, catching on. The kid doodles his name while he waits for his action figures to dry, and nothing in the world feels more pure and innocent and sweet in that moment.  _

_ The coffee pot dings just as Larry’s heart goes to mush, and he shakes his head and sighs as he walks back over to pour himself a cup. _


	27. Chapter 27

**brings some of his things over to your place**

_ It didn’t happen all at once, Larry recalls as he looks at the pile of dirty laundry that isn’t his. His eyes move to the hat on the doorknob that doesn’t belong to him either, then to the open bathroom door, on which hangs a robe one size too small for Larry. On the sink is an extra toothbrush, in the shower is another shampoo. There’s a coffee mug in the kitchenette with the Fantastic Four on it that damn sure isn’t his, and in the fridge is a half-eaten pepperoni pizza Larry didn’t order. _

_ Little by little, bit by bit, the motel suite has gone from sad, empty, temporary living quarters to almost home for two. _

_ It used to drive Larry nuts when girls would leave their shit around his place, wherever that happened to be. He’d get annoyed at the smallest thing- a hairbrush on the counter or a lipstick on the table. He remembers a fight with some long-lost ex-girlfriend over a lipstick mark she left on one of his coffee mugs.  _

_ Something about this is different, because even though he didn’t totally notice all the items accumulating in the suite, he never got mad when Orange would toss his t shirt on the pile of dirty laundry. He didn’t say a word when Orange left his hat on the bed one morning, or when the superhero mug landed on the kitchen table, and Larry’s the one who bought the extra toothbrush in the first place, just for Orange.  _

_ Noticing all the reminders of Orange around the suite just makes Larry smile, makes him remember how permanent all of this is. Orange leaves his things around because he knows he’ll be back, just like Larry knows all the extra pairs of underwear and socks he put in Orange’s dresser are for the inevitable next stay over.  _

_ Larry surveys the room once more, sighs happily, and looks at his clock radio. _

_ Only half an hour before Orange expects him at his place. Better leave now to beat the traffic that isn’t there at 9:30pm. _


	28. Chapter 28

**gets stars in his eyes when you talk about taking him to Mexico, and genuinely wants to go with you**

_ Larry mentions it casually so often now, Freddy almost feels foolish for still getting butterflies. He says it like it’s just another trip to the diner or a night at the movies, and that may just be the best part of it all. _

_ It’s not a big deal to Larry. Even the first time he said it, he talked about it with such immovable certainty, it nearly knocked Freddy off his feet.  _

_ “What do you think about Mexico, kid? You ever been?” Larry asked one morning over breakfast. _

_ “No, but I’ve  _ always  _ fuckin’ wanted to get out there.” _

_ “Want to come with me after the heist? Get a little place over the border? We’ll have a hell of a good cushion after this job.” He was so casual, sipping his coffee like he’d asked Freddy about the weather tomorrow. _

_ Freddy nearly swallowed his fork. “You mean it? Yeah, I mean, I’d fuckin’ love that,” he breathed.  _

_ “Great, we can leave right from the rendezvous,” Larry smiled. “So you want any more toast?” _

_ Even now, he’s just as calm and definite about going to Mexico, and every time he brings it up, Freddy feels like he’s been shot full of electricity.  _

_ “So kid, when we get over the border,” Larry starts, “I know a guy who can get us a decent little house real fuckin’ cheap. It might not be the prettiest place in the world, but-”  _

_ “I’d love to,” Freddy blurts out. “That, uh, that sounds great Larry.” _

_ Larry smiles that knowing smile, and Freddy’s sure he can count the stars in his eyes.  _

_ It’s moments like these Freddy forgets Orange is fake. He forgets he’s a cop, forgets he has to turn this incredibly loving person in to the police. The thought always makes him sick, but he swallows it down with the decision he made the first night he knew he was in too deep- he no longer cares about the LAPD. The moment this job is over, he’s leaving with Larry and never looking back. _

_ The thought scared him at first, that he’d throw away his life and career for someone he’s really only just met, but then he looks at Larry or remembers the way he feels and knows he has no choice. To get rid of Larry in any capacity would be to throw his life away, and there’s no way in hell Freddy is going to do that. _

_ And besides, he really always has wanted to go to Mexico. _


	29. Chapter 29

**tells you how much he trusts you all the time (“with my entire life, Larry”)**

_ They’re sitting in their booth in the back of the diner, Larry’s hand resting comfortably on Freddy’s thigh and Freddy scarfing down an ice cream sundae like he hadn’t seen food in weeks.  _

_ “Whoa, whoa, kid, slow down!” Larry chuckles. “You’re gonna get a headache!” _

_ Freddy smirks, hot fudge smeared along his bottom lip. “I’m okay, Larry.” _

_ He squeezes Freddy’s thigh. Once the sundae is gone, Larry pays the tab and then looks at Freddy with a strange glimmer in his eye. _

_ “What?” Freddy asks, wiping his mouth on his wrist. _

_ “I want to show you something. Let’s go.” _

_ They get into the car and Larry starts driving, and soon Freddy recognizes their route. _

_ “Are we goin’ back to your place?” he asks, fiddling with a piece of paper he found on the floor of the car. _

_ “Yeah, there’s something I found the other day I think you’ll like.” _

_ “Yeah?” _

_ “Just trust me,” Larry says with a smile, and Freddy feels something stir in his chest. _

_ “I trust you,” he breathes. It hits him just then how much he trusts Larry. He knows he isn’t supposed to trust him, hell he’s not even supposed to know him like he does. Here he sits though, in this should-be nameless criminal’s car, driving to this should-be stranger’s motel room for what must be the hundredth time, to see something this should-be enemy has picked out for him.  _

_ As Larry parks the car, Freddy gets another feeling as he watches the careful focus on his companion’s face. Before he can push it aside, the thought comes to him- he’d trust Larry with his whole life. If he asked, Freddy would run away with him at that very moment, ditch his entire life and career and take off with this warm and fuzzy cop killer. _

_ They walk into the suite and Larry kisses his temple. He walks to the other room for a moment and then comes back in holding what appears to be… a fridge magnet? _

_ It’s a refrigerator magnet, a small square with the Fantastic Four on it. It looks to be at least twenty years old, a piece of memorabilia even Freddy hasn’t seen before. _

_ “I was walking the other day and I saw it in the window of the Salvation Army. Figured you like the Fantastic Four… Right? They’re the ones you like?” Larry smiles almost nervously as he hands the cold metal square to Freddy. _

_ His face hurts from smiling already. “Shit, Larry, yeah, I love the Fantastic Four… I’ve never seen one of these before. It’s great,” he says, laughing slightly.  _

_ “Just thought you could put it on your fridge at home, maybe it’d remind you to eat every once in a while when I’m not there,” Larry chuckles, poking at Freddy’s ribs. _

_ Later they’re lying on the couch together, the magnet in Freddy’s pocket, and  Freddy turns to face Larry. _

_ “Larry?” _

_ “Hmm?” _

_ “You know I trust you, right?” His voice is low and soft. _

_ “Yeah? I trust you too, kid,” Larry smiles. _

_ “No, no, I really mean it, Larry. I trust you with my whole fuckin’ life.”  _

_ Larry kisses Freddy’s forehead for a beat longer than usual. “Love you. Love you so much.” _


	30. Chapter 30

**knows how much you love to take care of him, and lets you do everything for him**

_ Freddy knows how to tie a tie. Not very well, but he knows how to do it. _

_ Still, any time he’s had to wear one this past month, he’s let Larry tie it for him. Watching his smile widen as he helps button Freddy’s shirt and fix his tie is more than enough reason to let go of his pride. _

_ “Hold on, kid, you’ve got a cowlick goin’,” Larry chuckles one day before they leave for lunch. He pulls out his comb and Freddy stops in front of him. “How did you not see that? You’ve been in the bathroom twice today!”  _

_ Of course Freddy saw it. He noticed a little bit of hair sticking up the first time he got up to pee, and the second time he went to the bathroom, while he was brushing his teeth, he purposely pulled more hair up and out of control. _

_ He knows Larry loves to do things like this, and though he won’t admit it, he loves being taken care of. Freddy never got much of that as a kid, and something about having food wiped off his chin and help putting on his jackets makes him feel loved in a way he’s never felt before. _

_ “I don’t know, Larry, guess I wasn’t payin’ attention.” _

_ Larry rolls his eyes playfully and smiles as he pats down the little piece of sandy hair. “What would you do without me?” he laughs as Freddy turns around to face him. _

_ Freddy opens his mouth to say something, but the thought of being without Larry just makes him shake his head and furrow his brow. He leans in and kisses Larry instead. _


	31. Chapter 31

**jokingly picks out a tie for you**

_ It’s the night before the heist, and Freddy is getting ready to leave Larry’s motel room. He notices Larry laying out his suit for the next morning and walks over to the dresser. _

_ “What are you doing, kid?” Larry asks as he pulls his dress shoes out from under the bed.  _

_ Freddy fishes around the top left drawer for a minute and comes up with a ridiculous printed tie with little palm trees on it, one he’s almost surprised Larry owns. _

_ Almost. _

_ “I picked out a tie for you, for tomorrow,” Freddy giggles. He’s trying to stifle his grin, but it’s not working. _

_ “Oh, now that’s a good one. I bet Joe’d love that.” Larry takes the tie from Freddy’s hands and slings it around his neck. “Hell of a look, that’d be.” _

_ “Where did you even get that thing anyway?” Freddy looks in the drawer for the skinny black tie he knows they’re supposed to wear, handing it to Larry. _

_ He puts the tie with the shirt and jacket on top of the dresser. “It was on sale, I don’t fuckin’ know.” _

_ Freddy laughs even harder, gripping his sides. “You bought that thing yourself?” _

_ “Hey, watch it, comic book boy. You’ve got Spiderman boxers!” Larry sounds almost angry at first, but Freddy sees the laughter in his eyes as a smile creeps across his face. _

_ “Yeah, but nobody sees those!” _

_ “I see them!” Larry chuckles. _

_ Freddy walks over to him and pulls him close, kissing him softly. “You do see them… Want to see them again?” _


	32. Chapter 32

**kisses you before you go to breakfast “for good luck, Larry”**

_ Larry comes to pick Freddy up as planned, and after helping him with his shirt and tie (of course the kid is late, when is he not late?), they drive the couple miles to the diner and park on the side. There are at least fifteen cars in the lot, but after scanning the area, Freddy notices no one is outside. _

_ Before Larry can register what’s happening, Freddy goes in for a kiss, pushing Larry back against the driver’s side door. After a full minute of flustered kissing and mostly-restrained hands, he pulls back and smiles drunkenly at Larry. _

_ “Jeez, kid, you’re gonna get me all worked up right before we go in there. What was that for?” Larry asks as he catches his breath. _

_ Freddy thinks for a minute. “For good luck, Larry.” _

_ He makes an impressed face and nods. “Makes sense to me. How about a little more luck?” he says as he looks over the lot. _

_ “Don’t have to ask me twice,” Freddy grins, and pulls Larry close.  _


	33. Chapter 33

**orders the same thing you do at the diner**

_ He probably didn’t even realize it, Larry thinks. Probably just force of habit, after all, he does this almost every time they go out. _

_ When the waitress came around, Larry ordered eggs over easy, hash browns, and wheat toast. She looked at Orange and he just smiled, “Same for me please.” _

_ Did anyone else notice that? Larry looks around the table. Brown is telling Blonde some dumb joke he’s clearly telling wrong. Blue is lighting a cigar, Pink is frowning into his coffee cup, Eddie is getting up to use the commode, and Joe is asking the waitress how much bacon comes with his order. _

_ So nobody caught it. They didn’t catch Larry pulling Orange’s chair out for him, either, or the way he helped him with his napkin before he could stop himself.  _

_ These fuckers must be blind. _


	34. Chapter 34

**drapes his arm over your chair the two brief times yours isn’t around him**

_ Almost the entire meal, even while Larry is eating, his arm is around Orange. He’s either resting his arm nonchalantly over the back of the chair or letting it slide lazily down over his shoulders. It’s partly a protective gesture, partly a habit he doesn’t intend to break, and partly something he doesn’t even necessarily realize he’s doing.  _

_ Orange isn’t complaining. _

_ At one point, Larry is eating and takes his arm off the other chair to take a sip of coffee. Before he knows what’s happening, he feels an arm reach over and rest on his shoulders.  _

_ He glances over and sees Orange drinking long from his coffee mug, arm stretched over Larry’s shoulder like it’s the most natural thing in the world. _

_ The second time it happens Larry is wrapped up in an argument with Pink. He feels Orange’s arm around his shoulder again and, though he’d never say it out loud, it fills him with confidence. _


	35. Chapter 35

**watches you bust Pink’s chops and silently backs you up**

_ Larry is fishing around his pocket for two dollars when he hears Pink start his whining. Son of a bitch doesn’t tip? Where does he get off? _

_ His mind goes back to being a kid, very young, before he lost his mother. Poor woman used to work so hard waiting tables; Larry knows firsthand how important those tips are. Tips bought him lunch for school, tips bought him new shoes when his old ones no longer fit, tips bought him what little presents he got at Christmas. _

_ So he goes off. Can anyone blame him? What a selfish prick Pink is. _

_ He’s so into his speech that it takes him an extra minute to notice Orange is backing him up, glaring at Pink and nodding along with every word Larry says. If he weren’t so fired up, he’d smile. _

_ At the end of Pink’s rebuttal, some stupid line about not playing ball, Orange nudges Larry’s knee under the table and leans forward. _

_ “He’s convinced me, gimme my dollar back.” _

_ “Hey, leave the dollars there,” Eddie frowns. _

_ Orange makes a show of being disappointed, but he nudges Larry again.  _

_ That kid’s got a hell of a sense of humor. _

_ He doesn’t even have a dollar to take back. _


	36. Chapter 36

**looks to you for safety and reassurance when the heist goes wrong**

_ Shit. Shit shit shit. Everything is blowing up in their faces. _

_ Larry pushes his way out of the giant mess the store has become. He narrowly misses a bullet flying out of Blonde’s gun, and for a split second, he thinks about taking him out. _

_ He realizes he’s got to grab Orange and get the fuck out of there, so he shoots at the cops in his way and runs out the door. _

_ The look on the poor kid’s face is enough to break Larry’s heart in two. He’s terrified. This is his first real job, and everything’s gone wrong. _

_ “Come on. It’s okay, I’ve gotcha. Let’s go.” Larry grabs onto Orange’s arm and pulls him to the getaway car. He can see Brown is fumbling with the door. _

_ They climb into the backseat and Brown floors it. Somewhere between the parking lot and the first street, Brown looks through the open window and takes a bullet right in the forehead.  _

_ Larry didn’t think Orange could look more frightened, but here he is, eyes wide as saucers through his shades and brow furrowed in cold fear. _

_ “Oh my god,” he whimpers. “They fuckin’ shot him in the head. And he’s still fuckin’ driving.” _

_ Larry is by no means relaxed, but he is composed. He puts a hand on Orange’s shoulder, warm and caring and a little sweaty. _

_ “I gotcha,” Larry says softly. “We’re gonna get outta this.” _

_ Orange looks down at his gun and inhales shakily. _

_ “I gotcha.” _


	37. Chapter 37

**watches you shoot the cops and realizes that even though it’s horrifying, he still loves you more than anything, and still leans into you when you lead him to find a new car**

_ Freddy doesn’t know what to feel, what to think.  _

_ The thief he’s fallen in love with, the sweet, kind, hardened criminal, is standing in front of him, shielding him, and shooting the cops through the windshield. He’s just emptying his clips into them, those poor bastards. _

_ Freddy knows those guys. They’re not friends, no, but they’re co-workers, and that’s the scariest part of it all- Larry is shooting them  _ because  _ they’re cops.  _

_ It’s such a confusing feeling. Larry is obviously trying to protect Freddy; that’s why he told him to stand back. He’s killing cops though, and Freddy is a cop. _

_ Freddy is a cop. _

_ He thinks about it as he looks down at Brown, who’s panicking and wailing something about being blind. Is he really a cop anymore? He’s clearly too deep into this. He’s clearly on the wrong side now. _

_ But is it wrong? _

_ Larry comes back and the feeling is still there. Freddy is still partly sickened. When he feels Larry’s hand on his shoulder though, he realizes just how much he loves him, just how deep he’s gotten himself in this mess. _

_ His mind just keeps running the same thought, that Larry was protecting him.  _

_ He just watched this man kill police officers with hardly a blink, and he still loves him. He still wants to retreat into his arms and hide from the whole thing. _

_ Brown is dead, and they walk off. Freddy is dazed and numb with fear, but Larry pulls him close and leads him forward.  _

_ Maybe it’ll be okay. After all, the shooting was technically defensive. _

_ He repeats it in his head until he believes it, and raises his gun at the approaching car, just as Larry does. _


	38. Chapter 38

**clings to you when he gets shot, crying out your name over and over and squeezing your hand**

_ If the look on Orange’s face when things first went wrong was heartbreaking, Larry’s heart is crushed seeing the look on it now. He’s never seen anything quite like it.  _

_ Larry has killed. He’s watched men die. He’s watched friends bleed, hell, he’s been beaten pretty badly himself. _

_ This is so wildly different. _

_ He doesn’t know what to say other than, “I gotcha,” repeating it like a mantra as he tenderly puts the poor kid in the backseat. At first he’s silent, but then the wailing starts, and that’s when Larry feels the tears in his eyes. _

_ “Larry! Oh, god, Larry! I’m so sorry! I’m sorry Larry!” over and over, Orange keeps crying. He keeps howling Larry’s name. _

_ “You’re gonna be okay,” but Larry doesn’t know. He’s not sure he believes it. There’s so much blood, it has to be more than Larry’s ever seen before, it has to be. He takes Orange’s trembling left hand and feels him squeeze it. _

_ When they pull up to the warehouse and Larry goes around to take him from the car, Orange clings to him like a magnet. He grips Larry’s shirt, his shoulder, anything he can latch onto.  _

_ “Larry… Oh god, Larry…”  _

_ “We made it,” Larry says, choking back his own panic. “We made it.” _


	39. Chapter 39

**asks you to hold him in the warehouse and begs you not to leave him when you need to talk to Pink**

_ Pink is starting trouble yet again. Even if he hadn’t pissed Larry off in the diner, he’d be annoyed as hell right now. _

_ Orange doesn’t need this. He doesn’t need the extra stress, the extra worry of Pink’s paranoid ramblings. At first Larry doesn’t even really acknowledge the prattling, but he notices the discomfort on Orange’s face right as he realizes they probably were set up. _

_ He tells Pink to go to the other room, they’ll discuss more there. It’s then Orange really starts to panic. _

_ “Larry, Larry no, don’t leave me Larry,” he chokes. “Don’t leave me!” _

_ He leans down and cups Orange’s face, already so pale and clammy. He runs his thumb along his cheek and feels a tear. _

_ “I’ll be right here, I’ll be right here lookin’ atcha,” Larry says, desperately trying to sound reassuring. “I’ll be right here lookin’ atcha.” _

_ He walks away, eyes staying on Orange until he passes through the doorway. _

_ “Larry…” he hears Orange groan. “I’m gonna fucking die… Larry!” _


	40. Chapter 40

**tries to stay strong for you**

_ Freddy has never been so scared in his life. He’s never felt such agony and panic.  _

_ Larry is in the next room and Freddy can feel the room spinning. He rolls over and puts a hand on the wall, watching dizzily as the blood smears onto the wallpaper.  _

_ He can faintly hear Larry talking to Pink though, and the sound of his voice is somewhat comforting. He’s still there. Larry is still okay. _

_ His vision is starting to fade, and the room is dimming around him. Is he dying? This can’t be it. Please, not yet. _

_ Freddy can still hear Larry’s voice though, and it echoes through his head.  _

_ As he loses consciousness, he thinks to himself.  _ I’ve got to be strong for Larry. I’ve got to hold on for Larry. I’m gonna be okay.

_ “You’re gonna be okay, you’re not gonna fuckin’ die,” Larry says in his head. “You’re gonna be fine.” _


	41. Chapter 41

**groans your name while he waits for you to return**

_ He doesn’t even realize he’s doing it.  _

_ Marvin is whining like a bitch about his ear and wiggling around in his chair. He’ll be fine. _

_ Freddy’s breathing is labored and everything is red. Everything is bloody and everything is a dull ache. With every exhale, he groans, and it takes him a few times to realize he’s groaning Larry’s name. _

_ Even if Marvin were to stop his bitching and notice, Freddy wouldn’t care. He’s dying. He knows it. If he wants to say the one name that’s keeping him hanging on, he’s gonna say it. _

_ Seeing Larry come through the door is like feeling sunshine on his face, and he’s already calling his name when Larry runs back to him. _


	42. Chapter 42

**tells you the truth- though he knows it will break both of you, he has to do right by you before he dies**

_ “I’m sorry kid… Looks like we’ll have to… do a little time…” _

_ Larry’s shot. Freddy’s shot again. Even through that, through blinding pain and so much blood loss he can barely see, Freddy reaches out for Larry, and Larry pulls himself up to the ramp and holds Freddy. _

_ He knows what he has to do. It’s only right. He’s gonna die anyway, and Larry deserves to know the truth. _

_ It’s not the three words he wants to say, but he says them anyway, because he knows it’s the only way. _

_ “I’m a cop… Larry… I’m… I’m a cop… I’m so… sorry…” _

_ Larry makes a horrible, heart-wrenching sound, and Freddy feels a tear fall from his face. Still caressing his face, Larry draws his gun up to Freddy’s cheek. _


	43. Chapter 43

**accepts his death at your hand as fair and the only way, and realizes that this guarantees your death as well**

_ It has to be this way.  _

_ Freddy realizes it as he feels the cold metal of the gun on his cheek, contrasting with the warmth of Larry’s hand, still holding the other side of his face.  _

_ Why hasn’t he shot him yet? He probably thinks Freddy’s committed the ultimate betrayal; at the very least, he’s broken his heart by admission of his lie.  _

_ It hits him just as the cops bust in. Larry’s not just going to kill Freddy.  _

_ He’s going to die with him. _

_ He’s committing suicide by cop so they can die together. Poor Larry, he can’t bear the reality. He wants to die just as much as Freddy does. _

_ Freddy holds fast to Larry, pulling him closer with all his remaining strength. The shouts of the cops in front of them is a dull roar, but Larry’s sobs are clear as day. _

_ It’s poetic justice, really. He’s almost ashamed to think it, but Freddy’s compared their relationship to Romeo and Juliet in his head more than once. _

_ Just before Larry shoots, Freddy squeezes his shoulder. He feels Larry’s thumb drag along his jaw, and as his heart breaks for the hundredth time that day, the lights go out.  _

_ It’s only fair. _

_ It’s only fair. _


End file.
